“The truth of the matter is that, both Tega and Boma are same Urhobos, probably, who lack basic societal values, especially Tega, a married woman who, act of fame and money found herself in a seduction house, and want Angel Gabriel to come down from heaven to remind her of her marital vows-to be faithful and obedient to the husband as his husband is also to reciprocate by love and sincerity. Yes, I blame Parents, who have failed in their responsibility to nurture values and virtues. I blame the society that has prepared a chain of wrong value system of quick to make it. I blame the educational system that prefers to give certificate rather than give values and morals such as, hard work, patience, resourceful, faith and contentment”
HABA!, why all the gossips and lashes in the social media against Mrs. Tega Dominic -Ajeboh, a married woman who went into one of the atypical shows that promote emptiness and immorality-A backyard idea towards becoming a millionaire through decadence which societies celebrate and derive pleasure on. My question is, is BBNaija meant for the upright or for the wayward, or for the just or for the lost sheep? What is the background of those participating in this “Naija devilish court of seduction” tagged reality show. What makes it a reality show, and what is the parental background of those participating. These questions need an answer, otherwise, we will end up learning no lesson in this Tega and Boma Martins Akpore’s palaver, rather, we will continue to lament of the shame of no nation. Nigeria is already in a state of confusion of all cybercrimes, including killing, maiming, raping and kidnappings etc. We are mourning these dastardly and inhuman acts in circulation in the north, south, east and west, yet, another is chasing us into more dangerous drama, anger and pain.
Anyway, the matter on ground now is that Tega has sensationally placed herself in what marriage counsellors refer to, Public Scandal, that posterity will hardly forget so soon or go into extinction. A broken bone of Adam’s desire with another stranger, Boma. Wait a minute, did I just say, a broken bone of Adam’s desire. Yes, I did because, no reasonable principle married man or right thinking married man would send his wife to a reality show where immorality reigns supreme like BBNaija. In fact, Tega’s husband has no moral justification to break down on what he saw on the show and the final eviction of Tega and his new room, new day found lover.
Probably, he was thinking of the 90 million naira to be won, thereby forgetting the negative wrong attraction of the show because BBNaija had never in any moral appraisal win positively rather than promote negative norms . Tega’s husband, Dominic, maybe, has never read in the scripture, James 4:4, where Saint James rebuked and admonished the people to desist from adulatory and categorically said: “You adulterous people”, stating that the lust-driven quarrels were a type of spiritual adultery as the people were choosing friendship with the world over friendship with God, cheating on the One who had redeemed and rescued them from their sin.
The true is that, Tega went into the show emotionally as she fell into the world of enjoyment, breaching the agreement she had with her husband to close up her legs and respect her dignity and pride paid for. She enjoyed what the world of BBNaija brought, and gallantly refused to flee from the devil like James 4:7 noted. “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you”
Now, did Mr. Dominic resist the devil by dismantling the idea of his wife going into a world of confusion, ? Who nursed the idea first of going into the show, was it from Mr. Dominic, or the wife, Tega. Let’s hear, the broken husband’s shock and agreement before she left for the show, as widely reported in both social, print and electronic media.
“I am going to be honest, before she left for the big brother house, she said something like she was going to do everything but she was not going to have sex. I was like ‘I don’t understand. What do you mean like everything? C’mon, if you go in there and act anyhow, we are in Nigeria. If you act anyhow, people will vote you out and judge you. So if you are going there, represent us as a married woman.’ That was what I told her which she agreed with me. So I really don’t understand what I was seeing on TV. I was really broken.” (Pulse News).
On her part, Tega had emotionally and publicly tender unreserved apology to all her fans and husband through her instagram page and Tv show when she was evicted ” I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has supported and encouraged me despite everything that has happened. Words cannot express how grateful I am. I take full responsibility of my actions and I sincerely apologize to everyone that I disappointed and to those who could not stand my actions while on the show. I am truly sorry. To my husband; Babe, I know we have already talked about this but I want to apologize again and also appreciate you for standing by me and giving me all the support I needed to pursue my career. To all the women out there who felt I let them down, I am sorry. To everyone who are still very angry and sending messages and comments, I do not see you as “trolls” I understand your anger and I want to say that I’m deeply sorry. Lastly, please pray for me and my family as we go through this phase together. Thank you everyone and God bless you”.
Meanwhile, Boma had also showed remorse and atonement for his wrongdoing with already known fact, Tega, a married woman, while seeking for forgiveness. In his interview with Pulse News, he want his fans and all to put aside what has happened and forge ahead with the future “I’m sorry, extremely sorry. I’m sorry to the family of Tega, her husband and Angel. “I had different circumstances in the house that made me look like what I was not and people actually forgot about the happy moments. “I feel like in Africa now, I’m probably the most hated guy right now after being so loved. It was bad. My mum was crying and different kinds of things have been happening.”
The truth of the matter is that, both Tega and Boma are same Urhobos, probably, who lack basic societal values, especially Tega, a married woman who, act of fame and money found herself in a seduction house, and want Angel Gabriel to come down from heaven to remind her of her marital vows-to be faithful and obedient to the husband as his husband is also to reciprocate by love and sincerity. Yes, I blame Parents, who have failed in their responsibility to nurture values and virtues. I blame the society that has prepared a chain of wrong value system of quick to make it. I blame the educational system that prefers to give certificate rather than give values and morals such as, hard work, patience, resourceful, faith and contentment.
Education that is supposed to nurture and change our thinking on moral values and respect for our culture is making it worse day by day because of the weak structure and government insensitivity in putting the right structure in place for the right people at the right time to manage. I blame the churches that have become business centres, where prosperity has become the core centre of sermonisation, including materialism and rascality of “My God is not a God of poverty”. The world is lost indeed, as moral tradition and custom are jettison in the name of civilization, that has left us in total confusion and disarray. Where is the hope, that, I can’t guarantee. Now, what does the tradition of the Urhobo people say about a married woman who engages in an open sex or if you like, call it ‘public shame’. In my book, Historiography of Orogun, Divergence in Perspective, 2nd edition. I had dealt with the issue, where I captured the penalties of any wrongdoing of a married woman, having an affair with another man. The penalties include a public disgrace and performance of some rituals for purifications. “Sanctions for married woman with extra-Marital Affairs When a married woman goes out of her matrimonial home to commit adultery, she would be held with a serious striking sickness from the gods of the land, and if the woman confesses her atrocities, she will approach the shrine of the husband’s place for thorough spiritual cleansing otherwise she will die.
However, whatever expenses to be made, does not come from the husband’s purse? Ironically, after all these, the husband insists not to marry his wife again, and does not want the bride pride, the woman returns the bride price triple which will be somehow higher than marriage cost to the King’s palace. Another danger of infidelity in marriage in Urhobo tradition and custom is this. If the woman did not confess her infidelity, the gods will strike her children, and if again, the woman still refused to confess, her children will die one after the other. Another striking part is, if her husband is aware of such act and ignores, he will be the victim of death.
My submission is that, all the parties, Tega, Dominic, Boma have left a legacy of shame but, the society cannot afford to banish and mock them. They must be rehabilitated and tutored to move on with life. We must pray for them, and generally console them because, they all feel remorse and seek for sincere repentance. Like Jesus told the Pharisees when they demanded to stone Mary Magdalene to death because he committed adultery, that, let he without sin, be the first to cast the stone and they all gaze at one another and went angrily away.” Let us see their travails as weakness and imperfection. Let not their omen live in our hearts, let us show them some love and benefit of doubt, that, it would never happen again.
Mark C. Orgu, wrote from Lagos, he’s a social Commentator/Public Affairs Analyst (08028592006, sms only)
